1. Go for a romantic walk from the start of Kelvin Grove Rd to the end, then back again. Then go to Spec Ops for a paintballing sesh
Don’t ask me how you’ll convince your s/o to do this, just do it. Make something up, I don’t care. Tell them it’s for charity or something.
While you’re walking, you can talk about “your situation”. It’ll be at least a good hour-and-a-half, so you’ll get through a lot.
When it’s over, you can just be like, “Hey babe. Can we just duck around the corner? There’s this place I wanted to check out.” Then before you know it, you’re paintballing the day away at Spec Ops.
2. Go to Aldi. Then go to Spec Ops for a paintballing sesh
Everyone knows that for young couples, there is no place quite as romantic as Aldi. It’s where everything just comes together. Cheap groceries, a sterile environment - it’s just meant to be.
Treat your spouse to a glorious shopping expedition in the spoils of the Kelvin Grove Aldi. Then once you’ve strolled through the aisles of cheap, imported
goodness and picked out your selection of groceries for the week, head straight out and down the road to Spec Ops for a furious sesh. We’ll keep your
groceries safe for you.
3. Watch Paintball (the movie) at home and then go to Spec Ops for a paintballing sesh
Paintball is one of those movies that absolutely everyone loves, no matter who they are. It circles around a bunch of young, normal people who sign up to go paintballing in the wilderness. Turns out though, the thing they signed up for is all a trick! Soon they’re being hunted by a bunch of guys with real guns, and getting actually killed!
Even though the top review on IMDb has it at 1/10 (“possibly the worst thing I’ve ever seen”), anyone who’s anyone knows that this movie is a complete
work of art. Watch it with your spouse and then go out together for a skirmish!
4. Romantic brunch at Harry’s Fine Foods then paintball at Spec Ops
One of the best things about Spec Ops is its central location. What does that mean exactly? It means it’s close to one of Brisbane’s finest establishments, Harry’s Fine Foods.
No matter what stage of the relationship you and your date are at, a romantic brunch at Harry’s is sure to etch you permanently in their memory. Try the beef stroganoff with rice:
5. ‘Let’s Feed Some Ducks’
And once you’ve eaten, walk up Petrie Terrace to Spec Ops, to wash it all down with some paintball.
Feeding the ducks down at New Farm park (this location is interchangeable, just ensure there are probably going to be ducks at said location):
You’re so in the good books. It’s the weekend. You’ve bought a god awful $300 cane backpack to carry your regrets and Audi deli items (refer to step 2) for the perfect date. She’s going to be down to let you go paint balling later for sure.
You’ve packed enough bread to feed an entire colony of bourgeoisie ducks, New Farm Ducks. “They’re going to be so incredibly plump by the time we’re done with them.” You exclaim to your girlfriend, she is so happy you’re finally doing something together.
You find the closest parking spot to the park and begin your 2 kilometre stroll through the leafy streets. Walking past several brunch spots, your girlfriend hints at the idea that you guys should look at an apartment around this area together. You don’t respond because you weren’t listening, you were thinking about paintball related things.
You’ve finally arrived, it really is a scenic place. You take a deep breath and smell the freshly cut grass, the fancily planted trees. New Farm. Where children already wealthier than you, and dogs somehow more pretentious than you. Perfect. You turn to your girlfriend and make up a story about how your parents used to bring you to here to feed the ducks, how coming back with her is so reminiscent of that time. How comfortable you feel with her. She’s in awe.
It’s only until you do a full lap of this park trying to locate a pond, do you realise there’s no actual ducks at all. Or a pond for that matter. She’s
mad at you for wasting her time and lying about that whole childhood story thing. She leaves in an uber and says she’ll call you later. Perfect! You’re
off the hook! The whole afternoon to go paint balling, and hey, SHE chose to leave.
6. Go to Spec Ops for a paintballing sesh
This one goes without saying. What better way to bond with your loved one than to just book a huge paintballing session and sort through everything that way? Couples have literally been doing it for centuries.
I actually met my wife paintballing. She shot me almost to death. Then she came and helped me up when she saw that I wasn’t moving. Then I shot her straight in the head at close range. And we’ve been best friends ever since.
Now that’s amore.
What are you waiting for? Enquire now to book your paintball sesh today!