At work? Fantasising about paintball? You can make your fantasy a reality with these simple but effective excuses to leave work early! Simply tell your
boss one of the excuses below and you will be out of the office in no time.
See you at Spec Ops Paintball!
Excuse #1: The voices are telling me to leave
For best effect, try this excuse wearing a metal colander on your head like the lady pictured above. Works every time (and will also keep the aliens at bay).
Excuse #2: I didn’t get to the toilet in time and my pants feel really heavy
Don’t you hate that heavy pants feeling? We bet your boss does too, so they will totally understand and relate and stuff when you use this excuse. To make your performance ultra convincing, consider rubbing some lunch time chocolate on the back of your pants and hobbling wide-leggedly as you approach your boss’s desk. Good luck!
Excuse #3: I accidentally glued my hands together so unfortunately I can no longer work
Another excuse we are sure your boss will relate to. For best effect, tell your boss that this happened while you were hand-making their ‘Best Boss Ever’ Christmas card and they will be so chuffed you’ll breeze right out that exit.
Excuse #4: A dark omen just appeared in my tea leaves and for everyones safety I need to get out of here
Not only will this get you out of the office - you will also be seen as the workplace martyr for years to come. #winning
Excuse #5: The dog ate my motivation
Hey, it happens.
Excuse #6: My hemorrhoid is playing up
Yep, it’s awkward wide-legged hobbling time again. Trust us, no one will question this excuse.
Excuse #7: My grandma just called and unfortunately she has died
Excuse #8: I need to return some video tapes
For best effect, pair this excuse with your best Patrick Bateman impression.
Excuse #9: I have received a mysterious emergency text message and apparently only I can help
You might need to get a friend in on this one - have them set their phone to private and text you something mysterious that requires your immediate attention. Show your boss the message - they’ll be so intrigued they’ll have to let you leave.
Excuse #10: I have “womanly issues”
This one is intended for women to use, but guys, why not try it out too?
Excuse 11: Last but not least, an excuse that is as concerning as it is true: I need to get outta here - I have the urge to shoot!
As soon as your excuse has worked, it’s time to head to Spec Ops Paintball!